Monday, September 28, 2009

Old Fashioned

I stopped in at this Mom & Pop convenience store near my place to get a drink. These places always over priced, beat up, run down and in a little strip mall alongside some other lame retailers. Despite this they have charm and usually you'll find something you never thought you'd find. I saw McSweeny's Jerky Chew and some Old Fashion Taffy and had to get some as I can't even remember that time I had eaten either of these.


I'm sure if you looked for the Jerky Chew you wouldn't be too hard pressed to find it, but I've just never looked for it. It's basically a huge rip off because the jerky is so shredded and light weight. If you were outside and it was windy once you took the lid all the jerky would blow away. The container it comes in weighs more than the product and probably cost more to make too. It comes in the classic plastic round case just like the real chewing tobacco. Now you can eat your jerky and keep the tin in your back jean pocket just like your Pa! And once you turn sixteen you can graduate up to the real stuff! Now you're a real man.

I didn't think anyone would buy or eat taffy nowadays because there are so many other better candies out there. The Old Fashion Taffy is pressed thin and packaged in wax paper, so it has that retro thing going on. It's not as soft and the name taffy would suggest. I peeled the paper back and took a bite and it broke off leaving crumbs all other the counter top. It's a lot more brittle than soft, but it does soften up in your mouth once you sweep all the little bits of the counter and eat them.

These "retro" candies were pretty disappointing in the end. I think the best candy from your youth would have to be the five cent candies that every store used to carry and that they still carry and the best thing is that they are still five cents each. You could mix and match and get anything and everything you wanted, but dinosours, juice berries, red hots and cola bottles were always the best.

4 comments:

mike said...

plus if you were at old sckool Barneys and you gave John $1 he wouldn't even count how many candies he put in the bag, he'd just give you a huge handful.
Or the old hot tamales that were round?
hmm, I need some candy..

Keef said...

Red hots were the round red ones. They weren't really hot, but just had lots of cinnamon in them. The green alien heads were the best, but were hard to find and still are!

Kristian said...

Sorry guys, but I suggest you never eat those 5 cent candies. I gave a local crackhead a ride home one night from the hospital after he was hit in the head with a hammer......about 10 times.

Anyway, he wanted to stop at 7-11 to get some food. I was cool with that so I stopped out front and watched him inside.

As he was inside, he put his blood covered hands into the 5 cent candy jars trying to get to the special flavor his cracked-out head wanted. And of course that flavor was at the bottom, I think I may have been cherry.

His hands were COVERED in blood. It was disgusting and I promptly went inside and gave him shit, and then 'removed' him from the store as 'nicely' as I could.

Since then NO 5 cent candies for me!

Also, when you get a slurpee at 7-11 make sure you let some out of the machine first. I have seen too many little native kids sticking their fingers up the machines to taste the flavors.

You can thank me later.

KT

Keef said...

I ALWAYS make sure not to take any gummies with bodily fluids on them, but thanks for tip!